tightening her robe
against december’s chill
she counts out all her morning pills
at 35
two strokes
a career
two failed marriages
critically ill babies
a dead lover
an old house
on the edge of
a dying town
she’d done alotta living
by local standards
she’d yet
to see the sun in patagonia
have a stew in ireland
dance beneath the moon
on a paris side street
that ultimate destination
she’d yet to be really loved
a silent vow
then and there
given the chance
to make that journey
she’d pack lightly
all excess baggage left behind
only roses
for her hair

all that glitters ain't gold

this wasn’t what
i had dreamed of
there is no glamour here
other than
a few gilded pieces strewn about
i was
going to marry
the man in the moon
grow up to be
that glittering mermaid
on the summer billboard
outside Homosassa Springs
I realize now
that my celestial casanova
would’ve found the color of my hair common
my shoulders too broad –
been bored with
the roundness of my cheeks
it was
probably that mermaids
second job
the one she needed
as she raised her kids alone
in the trailer park
just beyond the orange grove
off Highway 19
but herein this
chaotic simpledom
you think my shoulders
the perfect width for nappin’
my hair ideal for plaiting
honeysuckle vines
make savory wreaths
for springtime mermaids
down at the river
I wrote this about a month ago. Most of the things I write, I never share with anyone that exists in my "real world". Rarely, if ever. A couple of weeks ago, after much pleading from my family, I decided to branch outside of my usual hermithood and go to a dear friends party. My girls were thrilled.
We were going to be princesses for the evening. Cloak ourselves in finery, perfume and our finest manners. As I dressed for the party, lamplight low, old perfume bottles on the vanity, I slowed down to inhale and enjoy the process. My girls sat in the middle of my large bed and watched me starry eyed. When I finally slipped on my shoes and clipped on the last rhinestone, my daughter clasped her hands together, inhaled and said "Mooommmyyy!!!! You look like a sparkly mermaid!!!".
What sweetness. I laughed quietly to myself and thought of this poem I had written just a few weeks prior. I was reminded by the universe once again to 'slow down, pay attention, inhale, look about' - fulfilled dreams are all around us. We just have to be awake to notice them.